Sunday, October 17, 2010

Pointy Faced Goiter Dog in the News

A Mongolian Pointy Faced Goiter Dog was found wandering the streets of St. Cloud, Minnesota yesterday. A retired truck driver, James Gopher, was arrested on both illegal smuggling charges, as well as a variety of charges related to endangering the community. Gopher, 57, apparently hatched a scheme to illegally import Goiter Dogs after reading about both their rarity and how they have traditionally been kept as pets. Where did he read about it? Why, in a post right here on The Unbelievably Strange Wildlife Garden!

Gopher's elaborate smuggling scheme involved tramp freighters to a northern Canadian port, then chartered trucks to Winnipeg, then rental trucks to St. Cloud. Gopher was literally in the process of counting money from an illegal sale when he was savagely mauled by an escaped Goiter Dog that had used its razor sharp teeth to gnaw through the metal doors of its cage. The animal then went on a Mongolian-style rampage through the peaceful streets of St. Cloud, gobbling up dogs and cats, alarming a mailman into a fatal heart attack, and then rabidly attacking a Halloween display at a children's clothing store. Gopher is in stable condition at St. Cloud hospital awaiting arraignment.

In honor of this news story, I have composed a haiku!

Tiny sharp teeth, but
The Pointy Faced Goiter Dog
Mongolian's friend.

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